TheTravelingZipperhead.com

I didn’t want another dog. I’m still not convinced I do, but along came Lucy.

I had told my husband before, once TazziGator dies, a long way down the road, we need to just take a break from dogs. I love dogs, and to be honest, we both knew that wouldn’t happen, this house doesn’t feel right or safe without a furry friend. We had also talked about getting a dog for the little guy to take some of the heat off Tazzi. He is awfully rough on her and as she gets older I don’t want him falling on her or standing on her. I prefer him not to do any of that period, but let’s honest here, can you stop a toddler from messing with a dog?

I still didn’t want another dog. I have a post I’m still working on, and have been working for nearly two years about Rosco. Nothing I write does him justice, and I truly can’t get through a sentence about him without bawling. Thinking about him now is making me cry, and for this reason I’ve kept the Gator at an arms reach. She is a dog. A dog whom I love dearly and spoil the heck out of, but still a dog. My heart can’t take losing another Rosco. People say dogs are like our children, but he wasn’t. I was more the child in that friendship. He was a part of me, and part of my soul. He was neglected and found me at a time when I needed saving. We save each other at that point, but from then on, he was the one who did all the care taking. Sure, I fed him, played with him and walked him, but he was my protector.

I’d say I needed another dog like I need another hole in my head, but I did, in fact, need another hole in my head.
When I first saw pics of Lucy, I knew two things, 1) she’s going to be a big girl and 2) she would end up in my home.
I get a text several months later and find out that she has been neglected, and needs a new home. I still didn’t want another dog. I knew she was meant to come here but made the stipulation that she be potty trained. That was more for the hubs’ sanity than mine.

My SAINT of a sister-in-law took her in and found out she had a severe case of hookworms. This is a big messy undertaking, and I am in debt to her forever for that. She started Lucy’s rehabbing and showed her that she will be well cared for now. After a rough week, and their dog mounting a protest, she came to live with us. My little one was excited to get her, and had been asking where “Woocy” was and when was she going to get here. We’ve all started calling her Woocy and I kinda hope he never stops that.

The Gator was a tad less than thrilled.
All in all she seems to be a good dog. She’s sweet and loving, and she’s starting to realize that she will be getting fed on a regular basis. I don’t know if my heart goes out to her because she came from a similar situation that Rosco came from, or if it’s something else. I know that the pets we don’t choose are a million times better than the ones we do choose. It’s even better when they choose us. It’s like the universe is telling us something.
Plus Tazzi is now finally getting some exercise. Key word there is some. She mostly stays in gator mode, laying on the ground and snapping upward while letting the young skinny one do all the bouncing around, I have explained to her that it’s paybacks. She did the exact same thing to Rosco when we got her.

She doesn’t like to be left outside, but in time she will trust me that she will never be left out there long. This is her home, and she will never be forced to stay outside, go without food, water, and love.

Even Tazzi is coming around.

Like I told a friend, she is supposed to be here, and who am I to argue with the universe? She needs love and routine, and my heart is still broken, but needs to heal, and live by my routines. She is just about as sweet as a dog can get, and despite what she’s been through, she’s a happy dog. She’s a resilient little thing.

I’m training her to be my sous chef.

I don’t live in a cold climate. In fact, the heat here in the summer has been considered oppressive by many. I’ve likened it before to being trapped in your home in cold weather because you just can’t go outside and do anything.
Well right now, my backyard looks like this:

Notice the rain gauge? That’s all ice, in fact, my 90lb golden retriever looks like this when trying to roll in it…

She’s not even falling through a little bit. That’s about three inches of ice back there, and our back door was frozen shut Friday morning, so we had to send her out the window next to the door. She was not happy about that.
We saw this coming, and prepared. Everyone makes soups, chili, stews, whatever and hunkers down for the day or two we will be stuck inside. Only now we are trapped even longer. They are hoping to get the roads cleared up for Monday. They are shutting down all the highways at 6am tomorrow morning to try and clear something called “cobblestone ice” off the freeways. This is something usually formed on large bodies of water and it makes a real mess of stuff. At least that’s what Google told me. And Google is always right. I learned to be a doctor there.
We are hunkered down with everyone else. I’m not going as crazy as some because, I don’t mind staying inside in the climate controlled house, and I don’t really like to get out even when I can. I’m extra social that way. My son was sick a few days ago when it was 80 (the day before the ice storm hit) so he could not go out and play. Now he sits inside, staring longingly at his playset in the back yard. It’s covered in ice, and don’t get me wrong, I have thought about how much more fun the slide would be now that it’s coated in ice, but I just can’t let him run free on the ice out there, and his dad says it’s too cold to go out. I got him long underwear, I don’t know why he says it’s too cold. Well, except for that wind chill of 3 this morning.
Yesterday, I spent all day decorating two cakes. They were practice for my class on Monday. If we get to go.
I made two kinds of buttercream and splattered one all over my kitchen…… Twice. I really hate Italian butter cream. Its very sticky by the way. Egg whites, sugar, and butter; that will never come up from under the burner on my stove.
Here is what they look like btw:

After all that madness, I was not cooking. Today, however, I was going to cook. I didn’t know what, but I was going to.
I got some meat out that I got from Burgundy, it was pork, but I don’t really know what it was. When I called and asked for pork butt, they told me they were out, but asked if I wanted to try this. The best I can describe it, was like stew meat, but pork.
I started to cook the meat, just browned it in he pot, without cooking it through. Then I sliced up some veggies to braise it in. About that time, my dear husband came in and asked what the plan was for dinner. My response was “errr, plan?” I didn’t know how to tell him I had no idea what I was making, and just making it up as I went along. In fact, I was still wondering if I was going to make a soup or not.
This is what I ended up making:

And here is how I made it:
Sear the pork
Pull it out of the pan

Add:
Red onion -sliced
3 cloves of garlic
3 carrots chopped
Apple sliced
Cook down a little bit
White wine to deglaze
Chicken stock to almost top of veggies
Put meat back in

Squash:
Dice it up
Melted 2 tablespoons of butter
Sauté squash in butter and season with:
Cumin
Nutmeg
Salt
Cranberries

If you are wondering why this is much more organized than my other recipes, it is because my husband liked it enough, that he made sure I wrote it down, actually he wrote it down as I told him what I had done, and he even emailed it to me afterward. I’m not sure if he’s telling me to blog more, or cook this again.

The pasta btw, is a gluten free garlic something or other, which it could give or take. You could use which ever noodles you like.

So much for my cold weather soupstravaganza, I made this up today…..
Tomorrow I chip the ice off my grill and make burgers!

In class last week, Chef asked me if my family knew that we were having a gluten free Thanksgiving. I said nope, I’m waiting til they get here to say “SURPRISE!!!” He laughed at me and walked away. The truth was, I hadn’t told them it was totally GF. In fact, I hadn’t said much at all about the whole meal, I was assuming they would know that since I don’t eat gluten or corn, there would not be any on the menu. Luckily, my husband’s family is very understanding of gluten free diets. His cousin has Celiac’s so they have been around it, and know that it’s not just a diet fad, but just the way some of us have to live. The fact is, the more people I talk to, the more people I find that either HAVE a gluten sensitivity, or are related to someone who does. So no one batted an eye when I told them that there is no gluten or corn on the Thanksgiving table.

A totally gluten free Thanksgiving?? What about all the fixings that come with dinner? Won’t someone think of the children!!
The truth is,there is really not much gluten on a holiday table is there? You have the turkey, the salad, the sweet potatoes, the mashed potatoes, the gravy, the dressing, the green bean thing….. Really does anyone even make that anymore? I feel like as a nation, our taste buds matured and that mush is no longer acceptable at our table. We know that opening a couple cans and dumping it in a dish does not constitute actual cooking. Anyway, I made it all. The turkey, (tho I think this will be the last year for turkey as no one ate it)

I’m a briner. And I’m ok with that, I think if the turkey was a bigger attraction, I would put more effort into it, but it’s just not. I brine it, then stuff it with whatever I’ve got, rosemary, sage, carrots, onions, and celery. Then I roast it. This year I did it a day ahead of time so the prime rib would be cooked on Thursday.

This is why no one ate turkey. Why would you when there was prime rib? I rubbed it with salt, pepper, and shoved some garlic cloves in it then cooked it to mid-rare.
By the way, if you don’t have a meat thermometer with an alarm, get one. Worth every penny, and they’re not that expensive anyway.

I made a salad with homemade ranch and balsamic vinaigrette, au jus (beef stock, Worcestershire sauce, red wine, and pan drippings), and gf turkey gravy (I made a roux out of butter and gf flour-I used King Arthur brand bc I had a ton on hand then added the chicken stock and turkey pan drippings)

I made mashed potatoes and mashed sweet potatoes, and to save time, energy, and dishes, I threw them all on the grill at once. I had the entire grill filled with taters, and it still didn’t seem to make that much, but as an Irish girl, I think I would prefer a mountain of them that I could do the backstroke in.
I charged my sister in law with making the cranberry sauce. It was cranberry simmered with orange zest, wine, honey, and the usual spices, cloves, allspice, and grated ginger. You could put any flavor you’d like in them. Just simmer until they burst and thicken.

So now to the most important part of thanksgiving dinner, the stuffing. Or dressing since I don’t stuff the turkey.
I have been heartbroken over the stuffing part ever since I went gluten free. It has never worked out right no mater what I tried. This year I tried out the onion rolls from my new friends at Local Oven I took two bags, diced them up and dried them out, then I added two packages of sausage, a handful of celery stalks sliced up, three diced onions, and chopped marjoram, sage, thyme, and rosemary, along with garlic powder and salt.
After I mixed it all together, I baked it at 350 until the sausage was cooked. I doused with chicken stock occasionally also to keep it from drying out.

I wanted to hug Local Oven. It was delicious, and just writing about this makes me want a big plate full for lunch. I think I will.
With a side of my new favorite side. Shredded brussel sprouts.
I shredded them and tossed with toasted pecans (chopped) cranberries, and a little butter. I saw Alton Brown do this on Thanksgiving Live, and I had to try it. I’m so glad I did!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and enjoy this time of year!

When you live in Texas, and you survive the summer, you long for cooler weather. Your moms probably taught you not to go out in the cold without a coat on, or to just stay inside and stay warm period, but what about the heat? There are only so many clothes you can take off and still go outside, and then you worry about a sunburn. You never think about staying in from the heat. That is, until it’s 105 for days on end. The heat is so oppressive you just want to stay inside and if you didn’t get the mail before 10 am, it will just have to wait another day. This summer, I would get all my errands run by 10. You know it’s bad when the car is so hot by the time you get out of the grocery store by 9:30 am, the you sweat before putting on your seatbelt.
Enough of me complaining about the heat…… It’s fall! We are no longer under house arrest, and I can make SOUP!!!! I love soup!

First up is my “HOLY CRAP TASTY” lentil soup

I know, you think lentils and IMMEDIATELY you think tasty, delicious, and a must eat.
After a bite of this, my two year old proclaimed, “Holy Crap, that tasty!!!”
It starts out like most things; onion and garlic in olive oil.

Once the onions are translucent, I added a small butternut squash that I had laying around, and sautéed it.

Next up, add the red lentils and either water, or chicken stock (about 32 ounces) and water. Total about 40 ounces of liquid.

Let this cook until the lentils have burst and thickened the soup, then with an immersion blender or blender blend until smooth. Serve with a dollop of Greek yogurt or a splash of cream.

Next up is tomato soup.
It starts the same way, with onions and garlic in olive oil, then I add two cans of diced tomatoes (it’s winter, trust me it’s better than fresh tomatoes from the Southern Hemisphere) and a can of tomato sauce. Then add the same amount of liquid as before, water, stock, whatever, and then blend up. I added the milk or cream in here at this point. Add this to taste.

This soup could not be easier. Either one of them really, and you get to control what goes in, plus there are TONS of leftovers that you can freeze and pull out on a busy night when you want instant soup. I doesn’t get more instant that that.

I hope you try these, and if you do, I want to hear about it, or any other recipe you have tried!

Over the weekend we went to the gluten free and food allergy expo over in Plano. I know talk about PARTY! Nothing says a wild night like a food allergy convention!
I rarely get east of Grapevine, in fact, I prefer to stay in my little 5 mile radius bubble and even then I’ve been known to say, “ugh, I don’t want to drive ALL THE WAY over to Target”. When Target is roughly four miles away. Even more sad, are the times I’ve gone without whatever we needed at the time bc I didn’t want to drive all the way over there. So when I first heard about this expo on my “find me gluten free” app, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go ALL THE WAY over to Plano. That’s far, with a lot of traffic to fight. If I could just stay home all the time I’d be happy. If I could grow my own food, I’d be set. I already have Burgundy Pasture Beef deliver my meat. And if I could get this blog to take off, I could make money on it and I wouldn’t ever have to leave the house! I promise I’ll still wear pants (no I won’t) and make-up (HA) and deodorant (ok that I will wear).
Ok enough on my crazy dreams of being a hermit.

We went over to this expo on Sat, and I was impressed.

There were so many companies there offering everything from lipstick and lotions, to beer and baked goods. That’s right, I had beer. For the first time in several years I might add. I don’t drink anymore, and I forgot how much I liked beer. I always wondered how they made gluten free beer, and how gross would it be? The answer is, not gross at all. In fact, I sampled three different beers, from two different companies and they were all very good.
Every booth had a list of major allergens on it, so you could easily see what was in the product. For the first time in a long time, I was confidant in eating outside my home.

They also had freebies and samples that would make a born moocher like myself happy.

Out of all those freebies, here is what didn’t have corn in them, therefore I could eat them:

Roughly 18 million Americans have a gluten sensitivity, and those of us do, eat out 80% less than those who are not, yet we still spend two billion dollars a year on GF products, that is roughly the price of a loaf of gf bread. Ok not really, but close. On average, a gluten free product us about 242% more expensive than its glutenous counterpart. These numbers are doing nothing but growing.
The smart restaurants are taking notice and offering us options. The savvy ones, are training their staffs to know about gluten, to avoid cross contamination, and to make us feel safe enough to eat there. Think about the money the others are missing out on. By the way, I am available for such training.

At the expo, I finally got to put a face to my new buddy from Local Oven. You know I love this company. Maybe I can get them to deliver too? One day while eating a burger at my parents’ house, my niece looked at my bun and said “what are you eating? It looks soft?” These guys do it right.

When we left, we were not hungry, but we needed an actual mean instead of bites of cookies and truffles…. So I pulled up my app and found that a place I had loved once before, Bavarian Grill, offered a gluten free menu. A big one too!
I even asked the waitress if that was really the GF menu where she proceeded to tell me which items on the menu were cooked in the same grill as the non GF things, so depending on my sensitivity, what my best options were. I HAD OPTIONS! This was unheard of! Options AND a knowledgeable waitress? I must be dreaming. Of course it helped, that at the top of the GF menu was a Local Oven logo. I knew I was safe. I could let my guard down. I was not treated like a pain in the butt, and I was able to eat. The food as always was delicious, and when they brought my husband out his bread basket at the beginning of the meal, they brought me one out as well.

I know this is way out of my radius, but I am willing and eager to go back! If we had a place on the west side that made me feel this comfortable about eating there, I’d go often!

We went to a pumpkin patch last weekend like you do when you have kids. I never understood that until we did it. Other friends would get excited and take their kids to these things, and I never got the whole, “taking a picture with a bunch of pumpkins” thing, until we went last year, and took pictures of the little guy with a bunch of pumpkins. ….. And enjoyed it so much, we looked forward to doing it again this year. My niece and nephew couldn’t make it this year, and my mom and sister in law, whom I was looking forward to joining us, couldn’t go either, so we were bummed about that. We went out there, however, and had fun…… Taking pictures with pumpkins.

I love winter squash. Love. It. My son does too. In fact, last night, I made butternut squash fries, and as I cut them up, I set aside the odd shaped and sized pieces to put in a soup. It seems wasteful to throw them out, when I’m going to make soup anyway. I had them on the counter and turned my back to put a couple things in the dishwasher, when I hear some coughing. I turned to look and see my little guy with the raw squash scraps stuck to his lips, in his hands, and in his mouth. And he was going for more. So this is a fun time of year for us.

While we were at the pumpkin patch, I bought a Buttercup squash. I’d never had one, and was curious.

Not only has it been sitting on my counter mocking me as a good source of fiber and a vegetable I can get my little one to eat, but I’m also mourning my loss of Mexican food.
I TRULY miss Mexican food. I even went so far as to say to heck with it, and I at a Fuzzy’s taco last week, and then quickly regretted it. I think when you give something up, that you’ve been eating, you forget how sick it made you. Or it makes you more sick to pick it up again. I don’t know, but I know I need to figure out how to bite into a crunchy taco shell soon. I wish my butter lettuce would grow quicker.

Anyway, here is what I did to satisfy a craving tonight:

I browned a pound of ground pork with an onion I seasoned it with salt, cumin, garlic powder, and a spicy seasoning. You can use whatever, or omit.

I added a little water to the pan to deglaze and get everything moving around again.
Then I added the cubed up buttercup squash, and stirred that in. I covered it for a few mins too, to steam the squash.

While that was cooking, I washed my lettuce (after picking it from my garden WOOHOO!) and cooked the noodles. These are Asian rice noodles. All you have to do, is pour hot water over them and let them sit for a bit to cook them.

Once it was all ready, I assembled it. Put down your lettuce, then your noodles, the meat mixture and then the sauce. Mmmmm that sauce. It’s like a ranch, but Mexican. A Rancho sauce? Anyway, here’s how I made it:
I chopped up about a handful each of cilantro and parsley.
Then three diced garlic cloves, and stirred in
1/4 cup mayo,
3/4 cup Greek yogurt,
salt,
2 sautéed tomatillos
1 sautéed jalapeño
2 tablespoons buttermilk
And a splash of regular milk to get it to the co distance you want.

Do this part early and let it hang out in your fridge for a couple hours.

Then assemble!

Again, if you try this, and think of a name for it, let me know…

Enjoy!

The next post that Stephanie and I will do is going to been allergies, and it is taking me FOREVER to write my part because allergies are 1) a topic I am very versed in, 2) there is a ton of I formation out there and 3) there is even more misinformation out there. The misinformation is what is dangerous and infuriating, so as I sort through and organize my thoughts without getting preachy as you know I do, I’ll tell you what’s been going on around here lately.

I’ve had to give up corn, and if you know me, you know this is nearly impossible, I love my Mexican food after all. I have a blood/salsa level I have to maintain at all times. But, I’m allergic to corn, and in an attempt to feel better I’m eliminating things that I’m allergic to, that have not caused me problems in the past, and I’ve seen some relief in giving up corn. If you think it’s hard to give up gluten, try giving up corn. It’s in EVERYTHING, including things that are made gluten free, and it’s not labeled. In fact, it is sneaky. And goes by other names, like “vegetable”. So it’s back to the drawing board for me, and I’ve had to give up any processed food that I was able to eat in the past.

I’m also dealing with thyroid disease. I don’t fit any of the risk factors, so I’m convinced it is due to years of abuse to my body. I would drink pop like it was water, everything I ate, was from a box, a can, or styrofoam container, and I spent most nights deciding which drive thru was getting my combo business that evening.

Enough of that…. What have we been EATING around here?

For one, I made a Mexican Shepard’s pie. This is just like most Shepard’s pies, but with a twist.
First, I browned ground beef with my usual onion, carrots, celery, and garlic. Then I add some cumin and of course salt. Always add salt.

After that I just smeared some refried black beans on top of this and heated them through in the oven.

I just used a can of them because. The last time I tried to make refried beans, it was tragic. Maybe one day I’ll post all my failures, when I fail, it’s big time, so I just open a can.

This seams easy enough right? And only one dish to clean. Are you still claiming that you can’t take the timetable cook? This is free from all major allergens, has minimal ingredients and has an easy clean up.
I would show your plated picture, but it was not pretty. I will make this again, and try to make it prettier.

Right now, I. Going to make sloppy joes for my family to eat while I’m in class tonight. I’ll take pics, and hope for the best. Wish me luck! I’m going to experiment on this!

When my little guy sleeps, I can blog, nap, read, watch TV that doesn’t have mouse ears in the corner, or clean. Well, you know I’m not going to clean, I usually end up watching TV while looking through any new cookbook or cooking magazine I may have. I’m a multitasker like that.

I just want to tell you, before I dive into these cookies,

Baking is just not my thing. I don’t like it, I’m not good at it, and it’s all chemistry and my brain is wired more for biology or physics, or napping. I have been happily using (gasp) boxed mixes for cakes, cookies, or what have you. The thing is, I have decided to give up all things I’m allergic to (except beef that’s just crazy talk) for a while in an effort to feel better. I also gave up my beloved Pepsi and have not had one (or any pop) in 14 days. Not that I’m counting. The twitching has nearly gone away.

Stephanie and I are working on our next post, and it’s about allergies. This is something near and dear to both of us, and in doing so, I have decided to give up what I am allergic to. Within reason.

One of the things I’m allergic to is corn, and if you think it’s hard to give up gluten, try giving up corn. Especially after giving up gluten.
Inspired by my new class this semester, which I still hate by the way. I decided to dive head first I to baking my own stuff. The first thing I did was make a flour blend, and after a lot of research I decided to use this one. I love this blog and her cookbooks as well. The problem is, this contains corn starch so I swapped it out for arrowroot powder instead.

Since I’m a beginner here, I used the chocolate chocolate chip recipe off here too. Seems easy enough: (check out her blog for the exact amounts)

Mix the flour, cocoa, salt, and baking powder

Mix the butter, sugar, egg, and vanilla

Then mix everybody together with chocolate chips.

Then drop with a scooper onto a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Here is one thing that freaks me out about gluten free cookie doughs. It has the consistency of wet sand. Or grout. They always turn out delicious, however, and subbing the arrowroot for the cornstarch worked great in this application.

My next challenge is to recreate a recipe from class each week with a gluten free flour. Maybe I can understand this chemistry thing well enough to create my own recipes soon. Ok not soon, but maybe one day? Here’s hoping.

You know how on the first day of warm weather after a long and brutally cold winter, people find any excuse possible to be outside? Today was that day. No, I don’t live in the Southern Hemisphere, but I live in Texas. There are plenty of things I love about this state, really, like the fact that I can grow things year round, or, well lets just hold on to that. One thing I truly hate here, is the heat. Now,I’m a summer girl, I like warmer weather, and I whine like a little girl when I’m cold, but the heat her is oppressive. It’s the kind of heat where you can’t even go to the pool because its too hot. I make sure my errands are done by 10 am because anything later and you will melt just getting your seat belt on. You can imagine the scene today as the temp barely got up to 80.
My family and I peered out to see if it was true, and we saw other people. I didn’t even know I HAD neighbors, let alone the fact that they were just as pale and skittish as I. There were children riding bikes and scooters up and down the street. Gardens once left to fend for themselves were being tended to. People were building play sets in the back yards! Someone gave my neighborhood CPR and brought life back to it.
Our family went for a walk, even taking the dog. Then we went off in search of plants, trees, fresh air, and anything else we could find. We settled on a nursery not far from our house. We went looking for trees, but we left with new plants for my garden.

There were a few lettuces, kale, broccoli, and a couple other things that looked fun.
My attention soon turned to dinner, and what to make on this crisp 80 degree evening. I settled on a baked potato soup, and here’s why…. I had the stuff for it.
The only way I can get my kiddo to willingly eat veggies is in soup. He would like to consider ketchup a vegetable.
So here’s what I did:
I chopped some onion, garlic, celery, carrots and potatoes. I don’t know how many to do, it will depend on the size.
About this much:

Roughly
Sauté everybody but the potatoes in a little olive oil

Then add the potatoes and enough chicken stock and or water to just cover.

Make sure you salt this a lot as you go. Potatoes suck up salt. Did you. Know that if you over salt a sauce, you can put a potato in it and it will absorb some of the salt? I learned that from one of my grandmothers. Or, you can avoid over salting by tasting the flavor as you go. I learned that in culinary school.
Anyway, simmer this as long as you want to, or just until the potatoes are tender. Then zap it with a blender or a hand mixer. By the way, if you don’t have one of those, get one. Mine is one of my kitchen essentials along with my Dutch oven. That is by far the work horse of my kitchen.

Isn’t she beautiful? I got her one year for Christmas. My brother asked me what I would use a pot like this for as I squealed with delight when I opened it. As you have noticed, she’s the star of my blog. Maybe I should name her.
How did we get off on this tangent. I say ‘we’ as though you had a choice..
After you wiz the soup up, it’s ready for garnish. Now up to this point, the soup is free of all major allergens, and depending on what broth you use, it could be vegan as well, and you can keep it that by just adding some chopped chives, oooor you could put a big ol dollop of Greek yogurt, chopped bacon, and chives on it.

Mmmmm
I didn’t add cheese for a couple reasons. 1) I don’t like doing dishes when cheese has been added to soup. It’s messy, and sticks to my scratch pad. Weird, yes, but it keeps the extra calories away, so I’ll allow it. 2) who needs cheese when you’ve got BACON?!

I also made a gluten free chocolate chocolate chip cookie out of my own flour blend, but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow!

September is Chiari awareness month, and since I am keenly aware of Chiari, I thought I would take this time to make sure all of you are as well.
A Chiari malformation is where your cerebral tonsils are not tucked up in your head all nice and neat like, but actually down into your neck.
Here is a normal brain:

Here’s mine before surgery:

A couple things to note here, see how on the top pic, the cerebellum is round, looks like cauliflower? And then on mine, it’s more angular? Looks like a bent piece of orange. Also, in my pic, see how it’s pushing against my spinal column? This causes all sorts of problems.

The thing about Chiari is you have a ton of symptoms, which 1) you don’t really know are symptoms 2) could be so many other things &3) when you list all the symptoms together, you are then told you are crazy, a hypochondriac, looking for attention, etc so we usually don’t tell people what’s going on. Also, we’ve had this since birth, so some symptoms, we just don’t know any better.

Here is a list of symptoms from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke:
“Individuals with CM may complain of neck pain, balance problems, muscle weakness, numbness or other abnormal feelings in the arms or legs, dizziness, vision problems, difficulty swallowing, ringing or buzzing in the ears, hearing loss, vomiting, insomnia, depression, or headache made worse by coughing or straining. Hand coordination and fine motor skills may be affected. Symptoms may change for some individuals, depending on the buildup of CSF and resulting pressure on the tissues and nerves. Persons with a Type I CM may not have symptoms. Adolescents and adults who have CM but no symptoms initially may, later in life, develop signs of the disorder. Infants may have symptoms from any type of CM and may have difficulty swallowing, irritability when being fed, excessive drooling, a weak cry, gagging or vomiting, arm weakness, a stiff neck, breathing problems, developmental delays, and an inability to gain weight.”
I just thought I was clumsy and quirky. Turns out, even my bad handwriting can be blamed on this. Btw, I never had any problems gaining weight.

I came up with my own list of signs you might have Chiari:
-You have ever fallen UP stairs
-You have ever wanted to go up to a policeman and ask for a field sobriety test, just to see if you could pass
-You have had so many MRIs that you can’t walk by the fridge without it sticking to you.
-People see you walking at the fair and ask if you just got off the tilt-a-whirl
-You’ve ever been swimming in your own hallway
-The phrase “it’s like riding a bike” is infuriating to you, because you can’t ride one.
-Brain surgery sounds like a reasonable and exciting option

Now, I’ve said I have the luck of the draw about a few other things in life, there are a lot of things I’ve lucked into, or been at the right place at the right time for, but let me tell you. I have Spina Bifida and that is damn lucky. They didn’t know this until they got in there for my surgery, but they discovered my vertebrae don’t close. I truly believe this has saved me a lot of pain and medical issues. Had my vertebrae been closed, I could have had more pressure on my spinal cord, and I could be paralyzed, dead, or worse off than I am now.

I have a lot of friends who have it really rough. Some are very sick, some are on disability, and some have died. I prefer to look at the positive side, and try to focus on what I can do. I will never understand the mentality of people who get all bent out of shape and upset when someone thinks they don’t look sick. For some people being told they look healthy is a huge insult, and I don’t get it.

So how does someone “get” Chiari? The short answer is no one knows. Most of us are born with it, while a few get it from some sort of damage to the spinal column. There is a lot of evidence showing that it is hereditary which proves my theory that I was adopted, because no one in my family has it.

Chiari is treated, or maybe I should say managed with surgery. There is no cure, and the surgery is barbaric sounding but helpful. I am three years post op, and people don’t understand why I’m not cured. Smart people, people I’m close to even.

Maybe this will help…. Here is my brain now:

The dangly part is mostly gone, and my brain and spinal cord are now separated, but the cerebellum is still shaped the same as before. You can even see where my skull is gone now. Funny story, with my thyroid acting up, or not doing anything really, I went in to the ER one night. They did a CT scan on me, determined I was fine, and as I was leaving, the doc pulled me aside and asked if I’d ever seen a scan of my head. I said “yes, many times. Why is there something new there?” He said, “you HAVE to look at this” as he took me to a monitor to show me my brain. He pulled up an image and ran through several explaining to me “see, here’s your skull, there, there, and here, it’s ….. gone! It’s just GONE!!” I WISH I would have been thinking, I would have looked at him and asked “we’ll where did it go? Did you take it?” But I was tired, and just said “yeah I know, it does that”.
So in short, Chiari is not a vacation, it sucks and we try very hard to live a normal life. Some of us do pretty well, too. The hardest part is the lack of people (family, friends, and doctors) who are educated on this. We are labeled drama queens, hypochondriacs, or depressed, when in actuality, we are just tired of not being heard for what we are saying.

Now, hopefully more of y’all are aware of what a Chiari malformation is. If you want more info, go here http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm#240513087 and if you want to know what it’s like to stumble in our shoes, you can put your forehead on a baseball bat, run around in a circle 100 times, and then try to walk, work, cook dinner, etc.