TheTravelingZipperhead.com

I love benedryl. Remember what I said earlier about my shoes? Benedryl ranks right up there. In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m getting all sleepy from a big blue benedryl allergy sinus.
It’s allergy season. That is the season that starts in Sept and ends in late Aug. I’m allergic to everything, some things more than others, but still everything. As a kid, and into adulthood, everything that was wrong with my brother or I was one of two things: allergies, or we were growing. My mom is all of 5’2″ so I never understood how she knew what growing felt like, and when I asked her how she knew what growing felt like she would just tell me to shut up. Cut to 30 years old and my sitting in Dr. Awesome the Allergist’s office, and I tell him about this. He tells me that is a very dangerous assumption to make, though with me its probably right.

It’s just as well, breathing is Highly overrated. I play a game where I lay on my left side and all the drainage falls to that side and I can breath out of the right side. Then I roll over and feel it shift. I don’t know why it amuses me, but it does. Might have something to do with the large amounts of benedryl, really large amounts, like my liver will stage a coup.
The captain doesn’t have allergies. He says he does, and he will get the sniffles once in a while, but he doesn’t have benedryl stashed in his car, office, purse (not that he carries one), or in his nightstand which is steps away from the motherload in the bathroom. I have puffs and alka seltzer there too. Though sometime about 15 years ago they changed the flavor of alka seltzer and its much worse than it was. I actually LIKED the taste of it before. Keep in mind two things, 1) the main staple in my diet is drainage and 2) you have to have a strong taste to cut thru that film in your mouth.
I need to sleep now. I will curl up with my puffs plus. You think I kid, but the captain was very weirded out the first time I came to bed clutching a box of tissues like a teddy bear. That is my kind of security blanket.

I miss my heels.  There, I said it and I’m not apologizing for it. This is a pic of some of my favorites. Aren’t they pretty?  Two of them hurt like hell, in fact the pink ones hurt so bad I’ve never actually worn them, but I love them just the same.  Rosco aside, (and of course the Captain if he’s reading this) shoes are my biggest love.  In fact shoes have been a very important part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I’ve been wearing heels since I was 14,  and I’m picky about them, for the most part.  I like them sleek, sexy and one or two steps off the pole in some cases. 
There has been a dark time for shoes the past couple of years, they have looked like shoes for grandma or lesbian toddlers.  You really had to hunt to find cute heels.  It was a challenge, but one I readily accepted, because I  refused to wear ugly shoes until……
After I had my surgery I was discouraged, strongly discouraged, to not wear heels for now.  My first question, how long is now?  Then a rush of horror washed over me as I saw a future filled with Mary Janes and merrils and I was worried.   Thank God it was spring and sandals were in season.  Now its fall and new shoes are coming out, and guess what…. they are cute!  I have tried so many one, but I think I’ve forgotten how to wear them.  I’ll have to get back into it, and practice, as far as my neurosurgeon goes… what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.  I promise ill be careful and try not to fall (that is the biggest concern sine I’m equilibrium challanged). I have to try though.  

I’m sad to report that the octopus was found today along with the snake, the octopus was lucky and escaped with only losing the stuffing in two legs.  -yes I know they are tentacles, not legs….
The snake, was not so lucky, he was ripped open and turned inside out from the middle.  There is no pic of him, it is too disturbing. 
Both of these toys were “tough tested”  but I call bs.  I hear about people who make dog toys testing the products on their own animals, but I think they must own poodles.  My angels are not destructive or rottweilers, but they can get the stuffing out, the rope knots untied, or the squeaked killed in under three minutes.  The golden merely laughs at the Toughies testing scale.
If anyone out there needs the tough factor tested, or they want to know how much of a mess something will make, let me know.  I’m sure my beasts would be happy to take on that challenge.  Plus, they could use a paycheck.  These toys are expensive, and they don’t last long. 

There may have been a tad too much optimism in that last post.  Yes we love road trips and yes I was excited to see Chicago… but I never did.  You see, there is one big downfall to roadtrips on the summer.  Road construction.  Lots of construction.  What should have been a fun, exciting drive in 11 hours turned into a 15 hour beating.  In fact, I had wanted to write on Friday night, but I just did not see the humor in it yet.  So we picked up the car, said bye to the old one, went to the hotel, and slept.  However, not before ordering a pizza from Lou Malanati’s.  That was all I wanted to see of Chicago that night.  Deep dish.  And let me tell you, it was great! 

It’s 6 am in Broken Arrow and its 84 degrees.  Why are we up and on the road at 6 am? Because we are trying to get to Chicago to pick up the car went to Germany to get.  I know, you can keep asking why to all of these, but the short simple answer is this: the Captain and I are lunatics.  And I haven’t even gotten to the part where I tell you we are only staying one night. 
We like road trips. Sure the Captain hates the fact that there are only exits off the Creek Turnpike every ten miles or so, and I hate that he drags me out of bed at 4:30 in the morning, but at the end of the road we have fun and see a lot.  We will be going through St. Louis today! I’m excited about this, I’ve never been to anywhere on today’s path it will be great.  Wonder when the Captain will discover I’ve plugged in my ipod instead of his…

We are off!  Heading to Chicago, finally got out of the house.  I told the Captain he was in for a level three fit if we weren’t out of the house by 7.  See, here is how trips go for us: I start packing and the Captain does something equally productive like shred papers. Since I’m so laid back I never get bothered by this. (I’m lying) however, last night I politely (I’m lying again) suggested he pack the dog food.

Getting out of the house is a production.  We have to load up the car in secret and in stages so we don’t alert the beasts, they can only find out they are going somewhere as we put their leashes on them.  The smart one always figures it out somehow, but once its confirmed, its mass hysteria.  There is fur, sober, and claws everywhere.  I have been knocked in the head a time or two, and if you aren’t wearing to right footwear your feet will look like the captain put them thru the paper shredded he so loves.  I think he married me because I had a cool shredded.  Anyway, back to loading up the car.  The Captain always finds something urgent he needs to do, so I start loading up the car.  I told him I think he does it on purpose because he always comes in just as I’m done.  The truth of it is, I would just complain how he loads it anyway.  Packing is my thing.  It’s like an advanced version of tetris.  Every time I get a sense of pride in how much I can get in a bag, or how easily accessible things are in the car. 

So for now we have just crossed the red river.  You know you are in OK when you are blinded by light up flashy signs for casinos, but the buildings themselves are tents. 

More to come…..

Yes, you read that right….  I have recently discovered a passion for cooking though I love baking, always have.  I can remember in college I would bake to relieve stress, but I am always drawn to the strange.  I don’t know why I do it, but I do.  The Captain will try just about anything I make, and I’m glad.  He’s very adventurous like that.  So I see these cupcakes and I think, I HAVE to make those!

That being said, these are strange.  Not bad, but very VERY weird. The cupcakes themselves are pretty good, but the Ketchup frosting was just bad.  I didn’t think there was anything you could put in  butter cream frosting to make it taste bad.  Turns out, a cup of ketchup will do the trick.  Its not one of those really bad at first taste, but you take a taste and think hmmm this is weird, and take another taste.  You think OK I’ll put it on the cupcake and then you realize, its bad.  -make you feel sick bad, but by then you’ve had half the cupcake. The Captain ate these, thought they were OK, and even had more than one.  This is the same man who will not touch a green bean with a ten foot pole mind you.

I need to go find some tums now.  

We took the dogs for a walk the other night.  I know, shocker, I got off my butt and went, and I’m so glad I did.  We get down the street and this little girl, tiny, eye level with Tazzi small, ran down to us with her arms open.  Who is this child?  She ran up to Rosco and got right in that face… that sweet face, and started petting him.  This little curly headed blond then took both hands and grabbed my boy’s face and started kissing him -on the mouth.  Seriously where is this child’s mother?  I have never been more proud.  My normally on edge boy just accepted his new friend and make out buddy.  Still no mom to be found.  We continue walking and the rest of the group of kids are drawn to Tazzi.  She’s a pretty girl, and people are naturally drawn to her crazy red-headed magnetism and she did well with the attention, only drooling about a gallon on the kids, and only jumped on one.  The little girl could not care less about Tazzi.  She was all about Rosco.  I don’t blame her.  That face!!!!!! Seeing her walking next to Rosco was pretty cute.  It really reminded me how much Rosco loves kids.  I would have taken a picture and posted it, but I don’t take pictures of other people’s kids, and I sure don’t post them, so you’ll just have to imagine a cute little girl a couple inches taller than Rosco.  That being said, parents, PLEASE don’t let your kids get in random dog’s faces!  Rosco would never hurt anyone, but you just don’t know about other dogs.

THAT being said I think we really need to think about having a little baby friend for Rosco.  –Eventually.

I was so excited! I got a new smoker/roaster/grill thing. Yes, that is the technical name. I have wanted a smoker for a while now. No, it really doesn’t take much to excite me. Anyway, I get it, The Captain and I put it together -he wants nothing to do with it BTW. Its propane and he’s a charcoal guy. Plus he’s afraid I’m going to blow up the house.
Meal #1 I want to smoke a brisket. The Captain and I sat down the night before to tests rubs, not wanting anything to take away from this delicious meal I was going to make. The next morning I get up and get ready to throw the meat in, when the ever methodical Captain read the instruction manual. He always does that. Its very annoying and it slows me down. We (he) gets the thing all seasoned and ready to go, so I put the meat in, on low and stretched out for a nap figuring I had a while. An hour and a half later we peek in on it, and see that its turned to the color and consistency of charcoal. It’s burned after an hour and a half.
The next day I decided to put a chicken in, and thinking that an hour and a half on low burned the beef, the chicken would not take as long on high. After an hour I pulled it out, checked the temp and put it back in for a while. I then got it out about 20 mins later figuring it HAD to be done, cut it up, and…. RAW.

This thing is going to be my nemesis. I’ll keep you posted who wins round three.
Between this thing, and me locking The Captain and I outside in the rain with the phones and dogs inside, I was never so glad to see a Monday.