I went in for a flu shot today. I have not had one in 14 years. Are you sitting down? I know this is a shocker, but I’m allergic to them. I found this out in college. I went to the infirmary to get a shot. They asked “are you allergic to chicken feathers or eggs?”. “……um yes? I mean no, what’s the right answer that will get me the shot so I can be on my way.” I could only get them to give me a skin test, kinds like a TB test. They shoot a little bit under your skin and wait for a reaction. My arm swoll (that is an Oklahoma verb btw) up turned red, and has a giant white knot where the needle went in. The nurse yanked me by my good arm into a room and shot me in the butt with the equivalent of like 7 benedryl. Somehow I made it across the street to the dorm, pushed the button and woke up a day later in my bed staring at a cheeseburger. Apparently my roomate’s boyfriend found me in the elevator and brought me home. He said he was going to McDonald’s and asked if I needed anything. Looks like I told him I wanted a cheeseburger. I guess told him all about what happened too, I talk in my sleep a lot. I think that’s how my mom used to bust me when I was in high school. Come into my room, and ask me what I had been up to while I was sleeping.
Anyway, fast forward to today. I was excited. In the past 14 years I had had the flu 14 times. This year, it’s not going to happen. Until I get to the office and they ask if I have any anti histamines in my system. I was getting tested for food allergies too. I miss eating shrimp. “nooooooooo?” I answered. They didn’t believe me and stuck me with a histamine. Almost no reaction, so they wouldn’t do the test. Now to me, this says that as long as I continue taking my allergy pills, I can eat shrimp! Woohoo! They didn’t give me the flu shot either, I have to wait longer for that.